


At A Loss For Words

by darlingcarmilla



Category: Anne of Green Gables - L. M. Montgomery, Anne of the Island
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-14
Updated: 2016-04-14
Packaged: 2018-06-02 07:33:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6557500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darlingcarmilla/pseuds/darlingcarmilla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kinda like a modern AU where Phil meets Jo in some church type meeting (shhh I don't know things...) and she kinda talks to Anne about it, it's just kind of short anyway... apologies also it hasn't really been edited ahhh apologies also the ending might be a bit lame but AHH I tried.</p>
<p>P.S. this is kinda for @heathenphil from tumblr b/c we were talking about how gay Phil should definitely be more written also happy gay Phil please let's make this more common thank you goodnight~</p>
            </blockquote>





	At A Loss For Words

"Anne, Anne, please." the shouting was followed by frantic knocking.   
Anne opened the door to her dorm room quickly, a little concerned... although she knew Phil, and her tendency to dramatise... not that she was entirely innocent of the same thing. She supposed that was a part of why they were friends, as Phil flopped unceremoniously but certainly endearingly onto Anne's bed, which had, luckily, only a few worksheets and books scattered across it.  
"What's wrong?" Anne asked, walking towards the bed.  
"Oh, nothing much except the most boring night I have ever endured in my life."

"I forgot, you had to go to that church meeting..." Anne laughed, "Was it really so terrible?"  
"Anne, I know you are a Presbytarian girl... and I will never hold that against you but please let me be dramatic about this..."  
Anne patted Phil as reassuringly as she could manage without sarcasm, "Go on..."  
"Thank you, dearest friend, Stella was being all homeworky..."  
"I wasn't your first stop?" Anne gasped in mock-surprise.  
"Well, my dear friend I didn't wanna stick you with this dull story but I had to tell somebody and I'm sorry you were next in."  
Anne sighed and leaned against the wall, "I'm touched." without a hint of real frustration, she always enjoyed Phil's company. 

"Just what I wanted to hear," Phil replied, "So, you know, now that we're past my boundless kindness I'm just gonna rant a little, because my God... you should have seen the ladies in my church thing... I mean I'm sure they meant well but, 'What are you studying dear?' and 'How's your homework going.' are not my favourite things to hear on a Sunday night... I think they all just about hated me. They couldn't think of anything else to say."  
"Oh Phil, nobody could hate you." Anne laughed.  
"Exactly, that's what I like to hear."  
Anne laughed again.  
"It's true," Phil replied, "I'll admit I love the validation, laugh away but tell me I'm pretty."  
"Very pretty."  
Phil smiled, "You're such a good friend... would you tell me I'm interesting too?"

Anne leaned down to rest her head on Phil, "And kind, and smart, and again... very pretty."  
"I'm feeling much more big headed, back to my usual self."  
"Oh Phil."  
"It's true... I hate when I start feeling small and I know I need some pick me ups to get back to my regular size."  
"It is a good size." Anne teased.  
"You joke, but it's true." Phil continued, "Anyway, I can never keep on topic, but I guess between us..." she sighed, and sat up...

"What I was going to say it that, Daddy said I have to go to this church stuff once a week."  
"I know, you complained for just about every mintute I saw you last week."  
"Probably won't stop." Phil admitted.  
Anne smiled, "Yeah, anyway...?"  
"Anyway I thought it was gonna be dull... which is was... horribly, dreadfully. There's an old lady there who is so unhappy, so terribly unhappy I was sure she would burst into tears. You might think, 'Well gee Phil, have a little sympathy.' and I might, I swear but the thing is... Whatever I tried, or anybody else tried... I mean, according to the other ladies she's like that every week and I cannot stand it I swear. Besides that, she has, like an opposite twin who is much too cheerful about everything. If I'd told her that my parents died, I had cancer and the third world war had begun she'd say, 'Oh, well that's lovely.' and beam... it was horrible... All together, they're such a gossipy unpleasant bunch..."

"So it was as dull as expected."  
"It was... but hopefully it won't be next week... well as long as this girl gets over her cold. Apparently she had one and colds don't last for that long do they?"  
"I guess not?" Anne replied, a little amused.  
"Well, I mean... I don't think so anyway... I know that look Anne, I know, I'm fusing and all that but you must understand that I am going to be forced to attend, and there's this one old lady who knows my father and she'll be reporting back... So basically this young girl is my only hope. According to these ladies she is close to my age... who knows? But apparently she is also the loveliest sweetest creature in the world... whatever that means I am completely prepared to accept her as my Lord and Saviour. She will be my only friend in a group of gossipsy old ladies for weeks and Anne... I don't think I can stand it. She'll like me won't she? Don't you think?"  
"Definitely."

"For sure?"  
"One hundred percent." Anne agreed smiling.  
"Good. I was thinking that I thought so, when they were talking to me, but then they started talking about how wonderful she was at everything... ahhh... I wish I was like you Anne... you're so good. I wish you would come with me to the meetings."  
"You already know I can't." Anne laughed, "I already go to a different church, besides, I bet that old..."  
"Mrs Lynde, I know she'd find out somehow."  
Anne sighed, "Yeah, besides all of this homework. But I believe in you Phil... you can endure it..." she smiled softly, in a gentle sort of joking way, and leaned on Phil's shoulder.  
"I believe in you too." Phil replied, looking at the scattered sheets. "But maybe we could watch just like, one episode of Supergirl together?"  
"Just one..." Anne replied, trying not to smile.

***

The next week after Phil's meeting Anne heard more furious knocking at the door, though a little later than expected, "Anne, Anne, this is important!"  
Anne opened the door as quickly as she could, again, "Come in, come in... don't mind the... homework." It was now scattered all over the floor, she quickly picked it up and put it into a neat pile or she knew she'd forget about it.  
"Sorry, sorry..." Phil replied hurriedly, "But just wait until.. oh God, please let me talk about Jo, I don't think I can sit still..."

"Talk, talk..." Anne replied, sitting up on the bed next to Phil playing with her hair.  
Phil sat up energetically, ready to start, "Alright, alright... well, I need to you listen Anne, I mean... you know things... you're good with... stuff? Right? I think so..."  
"Sometimes?" Anne replied.  
"Yeah, sometimes... this is a thing... a some thing... you'll.. you'll... I don't know but I met this girl alright."  
"The church one."  
"Yeah."  
"The sweet one?"

"God, yeah the sweet, perfect good one that they all loved."  
"And?"  
"Well Anne, oh I wish I was like you, I probably made the worst impression... but you know what they didn't tell me is that she is the ugliest girl I have ever seen."  
"Phil!"  
"Well, it's true... I mean it Anne... there's no way around it! I saw her and I couldn't help but see it! There's no prettiness in her, you know I'm honest about prettines... and usually I like pretty people. But she is just? When you see her she is the least attractive thing! She's so lanky and her face looks like it's been squashed and rearranged. There's no way around it... but Anne... she is the loveliest person I have ever met..."

"And?"  
"Well, we started talking and I don't know... it was sort of nice. Actually bareable. I don't know if I liked her so much because her competition was so horrible... but she is... just the most interesting girl I have ever met. You know? Like every time we talk, I just... I could talk to her for hours and hours... when we stopped I felt like I'd been cut off. She is just, th sweetest, kindest soul, and the loveliest thing. They were so right... God Anne, I do wish I was like you..."  
"I don't... I'm glad I have Phil just as she is."  
Phil grinned, "Well, maybe now... but just at that moment, when she was talking about doing good, and... she's so ambitious, and passionate and I just? I don't know exactly what but I feel like she's a special person in my life. As if I could divide my life into before I met her and after I met her... you know?"

"I guess... like when I moved into Green Gables... it was all so different, so much better."  
"Like that, yeah... I don't know? Perhaps not exactly... Anne, how are you so good? Honestly half the time I was talking to her I was thinking... how could she even deign talk to me... a lowly unambitious leech who want nothing more than a life of luxury, but I also know that of course, she would talk to me, and anyone, because she loves every one and thing so much I feel so..."  
"So?"  
"I don't know, unworthy?"  
"I bet she adores you." Anne replied.  
"Well maybe but she shouldn't." Phil moped. "All I've got is good looks.. and they'll fade eventually."

Anne gently wrapped her arms around Phil, "You're also funny, charming, very fashionable, entertaining, sweet... I'm sure you're very worthy."  
"I wish she'd tell me..."  
"Did you ask?" Anne smiled.  
"Well... no..."  
"You always ask..."Anne said, a little concerned, pulling back to look at her friend.  
"I didn't wanna be weird, I don't know."  
"It's part of the Phillipa Gordon charm!" Anne insisted. "Anyway, when do I get to meet this girl?"  
"I don't know," Phil grumbled, "Perhaps next week? Can we watch Supergirl?"  
Anne reached for her laptop, "Certainly."

***

The next week Anne heard faint voices before a knock at the door, "Anne?" Phil's voice sounded meeker than usual.  
Anne opened the door to see a girl who really did look, as Phil had said, very ugly, but her voice was beautiful, "I'm Jo."  
"I'm Anne... Shirley." Anne smiled warmly, and Jo smiled back waiting before Anne invited them to sit on her bed after clearing off the homework... Phil seemed to be on her best behaviour.

"I've heard a lot about you." Anne said.  
Jo really was very ugly, but her smile had a sort of prettiness to it beyond the physicality that Anne couldn't quite describe, "All good things?"  
"Great things."  
Phil coughed, and added "But more just average things, nothing to special, not a great deal... but enough..." she blushed.  
"So how was your evening?" Anne asked politely, trying to conceal a smirk.  
"It was good," Jo replied softly, "Did you see Phil's dress?" asked Jo, moving back a little so that Anne could see, as she sat between them."  
"I did."  
"I was just telling her, I thought it was lovely on her."

"Yeah I mean Anne don't you think?" Phil asked a little nervously.  
Anne giggled, "Yeah, very nice."  
Jo smiled, and blushed a little, "I thought the colours really complimented her eyes, and we were sort of talking about social justice a bit..."  
"Oh what are you interested in?"  
"I guess... I know I can't solve everything, I'm just one girl, but I think intersectional feminism is important, and I wanted to put work into helping at women's shelters... you know? I mean... I guess it seems like a bit of a nothing job, or stressful, but I just... I guess for a while... I thought I wanted to be something else, but I've realised, recently... sorry I'm rambling."

Anne smiled across at Phil, "I think we know the feeling, go on."  
"Well, I think all sides of feminism are important, we can't ignore any issue or minority in favour of another. But you cannot complete every task to help everyone, and I recently volunteered to do some work at a women's shelter and I couldn't see myself doing anything else. I know women endure some truly terrible things, and I just want to be someone they can rely on the be kind, to be gentle... I seem to have a sort of patience others lack."  
"Like me." Phil added.  
"I think... you have a lot of patience for me, when I'm going on and on." Jo said.  
Phil leaned on her shoulder, "That's just, good to hear, I'm not really being patient if I enjoy things..."  
"I haven't many people who enjoy my rants about that."   
"Well I definitely do." Phil assured her.

Anne had begun to feel a little like a third wheel and wondered if she should leave her own bedroom... but Phil noticed the expression. "Hey, sorry Anne"  
Anne tried, again, not to grin, "It's alright, it's alright... how about Supergirl and then you... kids, can find your own way home?"  
Jo blushed at that before Phil asked, "You up for Supergirl?"  
Jo nodded and they watched.

***

When the episode ended, and they finally left Phil texted, "Thanks for putting up with us... do you think she likes me?"  
"I think she likes you so much it's a little hard to watch... if you're ready I think you should definitely do something about it." Anne texted back.  
Phil replied with a ":)" which Anne really did not understand but it made her laugh and she went back to her homework a little less bored of homework because Phil made everything better.

Meanwhile Phil walked with Jo slowly towards her room, which wasn't so far away, as Jo talked. She found herself leaning against the doorframe, listening. Jo really could be beautiful, she thought... in this dim light... with her eyes shining, and her lovely voice.  
"I know it won't happen overnight, but I just... I wish people would respect each other... would be softer, kinder. I will never begin to understand how people can be so cruel."  
Phil nodded slowly.  
Jo cast her lovely eyes down, the spell broken, "I'm sorry, I'm going on and on and I hardly let you get in a word.

"I really wasn't complaining." Phil replied, a little dreamily.  
Jo ducked her head a little and smiled a tiny smile, "You don't mind?"  
Phil laughed, "That's what I keep telling you... you're so good, how can you be so lovely?"  
At that Jo laughed, "I know I'm nothing like... lovely..."  
Phil gathered herself up a little, for courage, having the most certainty about something she had ever had in her life, and said, "I have to ask you something."  
In response Jo nervously fidgeted and looked up, her eyes wondering with a sort of steadiness Phil loved.

"Look... I'm going to be honest... I guess I also usually... I don't know? I guess you heard it before, I'm such a terrible person... I'm indecicive, and loud, and always asking for praise..."  
Jo sneezed and Phil tried to ignore it.  
"I'm nothing like you... you're good... and sweet... and calm... and kind..."  
Another sneeze.  
Phil felt a little helpless but continued, "You're the only thing I've ever been certain about,"  
Another sneeze, Phil didn't care time, but smiled as she went on.  
"And I'm no match for you... I know... but would you kiss me anyway?"

Jo looked down at Phil, her tall, lanky figure seemed somehow more steady, and her beautiful eyes had Phil motionless, if only for a moment before they kissed, Phil on her tip toes despite heels, and Jo leaning down a little... before they both bumped noses a little awkwardly and pulled back giggling.  
"I... I never thought..." whispered Jo, "I never thought you'd like me... too."  
Phil threw her arms around Jo's waist, her head resting just below Jo's shoulder, "And here I'd thought you were the intelligent one."  
"Would you... maybe... like to go out... some time this week? For... something?"  
Phil hugged her tighter, "Yes, yes, yes! Very much!"  
Jo leaned down to kiss her forehead, "Then I guess I'd better make some decisive arrangements."  
"Sounds good." Phil grinned, at more of a loss for words than she'd ever been before.


End file.
